08/19/25 - college sucks.

it's been a while crocodile! my life has been... interesting to say the least. it's been a bit since I last updated this cuz i've been busy with work and sulking, but i've been dying to get my thoughts about... college... out there so here i am, ripe and ready to complain.

okay. first things first, there is nothing like living alone by yourself for the first to make your realize HOW EASY IT IS TO MISS YOUR MOM AND CATS. I MISS THEM :(( at the same time... i feel at peace. HAHA i can do what i want when i want.. it's so nice. i woke up at 3 in the morning a few days ago and ate a hot pocket, and no one gave a shit. if i were at home, i would've been shot if i so much as touched the microwave past 10 pm. that being said... the microwave here is kind of nasty cuz no one cleans it haha, so maybe i'll do that soon. the trash is also a little strange here, rather than it being a regular NORMAL SIZED dumpster, it's literally a behemoth that's 7 feet tall and impossible to climb over. my best bet is just tossing my shit over the top of it and praying it lands. the lock on my bathroom door doesn't work unless i tug it up, and one of the outlets in my room doens't work. half of my bed is a different height than the other half of it, and everything in my room is metal meaning it's FREEZING all the time. the chair is somehow worse than my chair at home; at least mine is a swivel, this one is uncomfortable AND doesn't move. I've met a few people here that seem really cool and fun, but for the most part I've been alone, and i'm okay with that. just being out and about all day monday has me left completely drained for the whole week haha, my shoulders and back STILL hurt 2 days later. i feel really stiff and tired, but i think that's cuz i'm not used to any of this. my routine has been thrown to the wind and my body is like... decomposing because of it. hopefully it gets better, maybe i'll bring workout clothes next week and i'll send some more time in the gym or something, so i'm not sitting on my ass the whole time. it's really crowded and hot here, but again, i think i'll get used to the feeling as time passes.

for the good things... there are a few. this place has some cool clubs and stuff, and the club fair thing is tomorrow, so hopefully i'll find some more places to show my face so i'm not constantly sulking alone at my dorm :,D the dorm itself is really nice, it's better than what it could have been. that being said, let me not jinx myself, because lord only knows i can't take another big bad thing to happen to me; not now at least. campus and campus buses are nice too, if you catch them while they aren't too crowded, it's peaceful. most of the people here just came to party and be freaks, so after they drop out when class payments are due, i think it'll die down pretty significantly here. that being said, i am excited to get out of here and go to uga, but i don't want to leave either. i can't leave my cats and my mom, so i hope i get used to the feeling of missing them too. or maybe i won't, and that's okay too. i miss them because i care a lot about them, so if i get used to the feeling of missing them, it'll be like i don't care about them anymore. so i guess we'll just see what happens. knowing me, i don't think i'll get used to any of these feelings, i think i'll always think about them. more so, i think i'll just get used to distracting myself from them, and when i'm somewhere alone, like here, i'll think about them again. and i think that's probably good enough for me.